{"id":2236,"date":"2025-08-05T08:41:53","date_gmt":"2025-08-05T12:41:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scenicandlighting.com\/lightlabs\/?p=2236"},"modified":"2025-08-05T10:27:34","modified_gmt":"2025-08-05T14:27:34","slug":"the-proposal-by-anton-chekhov","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scenicandlighting.com\/lightlabs\/the-proposal-by-anton-chekhov\/","title":{"rendered":"The Proposal, by Anton Chekhov"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
This one-act play is from Plays by Anton Tchekoff<\/em>. The translation is by Julius West. Please see New York: Charles Scribner\u2019s Sons, 1916. The play and this translation are in the public domain.




Characters

STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV: a landowner.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: his daughter, twenty-five years old.

IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV: a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and hearty, but very suspicious landowner.

Setting: A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV\u2019S house.<\/em>

(LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises to meet him.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am
extremely glad! (Squeezes his hand)<\/em> Now this is a surprise, my
darling \u2026 How are you?

LOMOV: Thank you. And how may you be getting on?

CHUBUKOV: We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and
so on. Sit down, please do. \u2026 Now, you know, you shouldn\u2019t forget
all about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you
so formal in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you
be going anywhere, my treasure?

LOMOV: No, I\u2019ve come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch.

CHUBUKOV: Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if
you\u2019re paying a New Year\u2019s Eve visit!

LOMOV: Well, you see, it\u2019s like this. (Takes his arm)<\/em> I\u2019ve come to
you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request.
Not once or twice have I already had the privilege of applying to
you for help, and you have always, so to speak \u2026 I must ask your
pardon, I am getting excited. I shall drink some water, honoured
Stepan Stepanovitch. (Drinks.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: (Aside)<\/em> He\u2019s come to borrow money! Shan\u2019t give him any!
(Aloud)<\/em> What is it, my beauty?

LOMOV: You see, Honour Stepanitch \u2026 I beg pardon, Stepan
Honouritch \u2026 I mean, I\u2019m awfully excited, as you will please
notice. \u2026 In short, you alone can help me, though I don\u2019t deserve
it, of course \u2026 and haven\u2019t any right to count on your
assistance. \u2026

CHUBUKOV: Oh, don\u2019t go round and round it, darling! Spit it out!
Well?

LOMOV: One moment \u2026 this very minute. The fact is, I\u2019ve come to
ask the hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage.

CHUBUKOV: (Joyfully)<\/em> By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again\u2013I
didn\u2019t hear it all!

LOMOV: I have the honour to ask \u2026

CHUBUKOV: (Interrupting)<\/em> My dear fellow \u2026 I\u2019m so glad, and so on. \u2026
Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing.
(Embraces and kisses LOMOV)<\/em> I\u2019ve been hoping for it for a long time. It\u2019s been my
continual desire. (Sheds a tear)<\/em> And I\u2019ve always loved you, my
angel, as if you were my own son. May God give you both His help
and His love and so on, and I did so much hope \u2026 What am I
behaving in this idiotic way for? I\u2019m off my balance with joy,
absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul \u2026 I\u2019ll go and
call Natasha, and all that.

LOMOV: (Greatly moved)<\/em> Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I
may count on her consent?

CHUBUKOV: Why, of course, my darling, and \u2026 as if she won\u2019t
consent! She\u2019s in love; egad, she\u2019s like a love-sick cat, and so
on. \u2026 Shan\u2019t be long! (Exit.)<\/em>

LOMOV: It\u2019s cold \u2026 I\u2019m trembling all over, just as if I\u2019d got an
examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made
up. If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to
look for an ideal, or for real love, then I\u2019ll never get married. \u2026
Brr! \u2026 It\u2019s cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper,
not bad-looking, well-educated. \u2026 What more do I want? But I\u2019m
getting a noise in my ears from excitement. (Drinks)<\/em> And it\u2019s
impossible for me not to marry. \u2026 In the first place, I\u2019m already
35\u2013a critical age, so to speak. In the second place, I ought to
lead a quiet and regular life. \u2026 I suffer from palpitations, I\u2019m
excitable and always getting awfully upset. \u2026 At this very moment
my lips are trembling, and there\u2019s a twitch in my right eyebrow. \u2026
But the very worst of all is the way I sleep. I no sooner get into
bed and begin to go off when suddenly something in my left side
gives a pull, and I can feel it in my shoulder and head. \u2026 I jump
up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and lie down again, but as
soon as I begin to get off to sleep there\u2019s another pull! And this
may happen twenty times. \u2026
(NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.)<\/em>

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Well, there! It\u2019s you, and papa said, \u201cGo;
there\u2019s a merchant come for his goods.\u201d How do you do, Ivan
Vassilevitch!

LOMOV: How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: You must excuse my apron and n\u00e9lig\u00e9 \u2026 we\u2019re
shelling peas for drying. Why haven\u2019t you been here for such a long
time? Sit down. (They seat themselves)<\/em> Won\u2019t you have some lunch?

LOMOV: No, thank you, I\u2019ve had some already.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Then smoke. \u2026 Here are the matches. \u2026 The
weather is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the
workmen didn\u2019t do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked?
Just think, I felt greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I\u2019m
not at all pleased about it because I\u2019m afraid my hay may rot. I
ought to have waited a bit. But what\u2019s this? Why, you\u2019re in evening
dress! Well, I never! Are you going to a ball, or what?\u2013though I
must say you look better. Tell me, why are you got up like that?

LOMOV: (Excited)<\/em> You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna \u2026 the fact
is, I\u2019ve made up my mind to ask you to hear me out. \u2026 Of course
you\u2019ll be surprised and perhaps even angry, but a \u2026 (Aside)<\/em> It\u2019s
awfully cold!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What\u2019s the matter? (Pause)<\/em> Well?

LOMOV: I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya
Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the
privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband,
from whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the
greatest respect for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs
and the Chubukovs have always had the most friendly, and I might
almost say the most affectionate, regard for each other. And, as
you know, my land is a near neighbour of yours. You will remember
that my Oxen Meadows touch your birchwoods.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Excuse my interrupting you. You say, \u201cmy Oxen
Meadows. \u2026\u201d But are they yours?

LOMOV: Yes, mine.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are
ours, not yours!

LOMOV: No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Well, I never knew that before. How do you make
that out?

LOMOV: How? I\u2019m speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in
between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Yes, yes. \u2026 They\u2019re ours.

LOMOV: No, you\u2019re mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they\u2019re
mine.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA:\u00a0Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have
they been yours?

LOMOV:\u00a0How long? As long as I can remember.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Really, you won\u2019t get me to believe that!

LOMOV:\u00a0But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya
Stepanovna. Oxen Meadows, it\u2019s true, were once the subject of
dispute, but now everybody knows that they are mine. There\u2019s
nothing to argue about. You see, my aunt\u2019s grandmother gave the
free use of these Meadows in perpetuity to the peasants of your
father\u2019s grandfather, in return for which they were to make bricks
for her. The peasants belonging to your father\u2019s grandfather had
the free use of the Meadows for forty years, and had got into the
habit of regarding them as their own, when it happened that \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: No, it isn\u2019t at all like that! Both my
grandfather and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended
to Burnt Marsh\u2013which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don\u2019t
see what there is to argue about. It\u2019s simply silly!

LOMOV:\u00a0I\u2019ll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA:\u00a0No, you\u2019re simply joking, or making fun of me. \u2026
What a surprise! We\u2019ve had the land for nearly three hundred years,
and then we\u2019re suddenly told that it isn\u2019t ours! Ivan Vassilevitch,
I can hardly believe my own ears. \u2026 These Meadows aren\u2019t worth much
to me. They only come to five dessiatins (Note: 13.5 acres), and are
worth perhaps 300 roubles (Note: \u00a330.), but I can\u2019t stand unfairness.
Say what you will, but I can\u2019t stand unfairness.

LOMOV: Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father\u2019s
grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you,
used to bake bricks for my aunt\u2019s grandmother. Now my aunt\u2019s
grandmother, wishing to make them a pleasant \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I can\u2019t make head or tail of all this about
aunts and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and
that\u2019s all.

LOMOV: Mine

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on
end, you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you
they\u2019re ours, ours, ours! I don\u2019t want anything of yours and I
don\u2019t want to give up anything of mine. So there!

LOMOV:\u00a0Natalya Ivanovna, I don\u2019t want the Meadows, but I am acting
on principle. If you like, I\u2019ll make you a present of them.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I can make you a present of them myself,
because they\u2019re mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is
strange, to say the least! Up to this we have always thought of you
as a good neighbour, a friend: last year we lent you our
threshing-machine, although on that account we had to put off our
own threshing till November, but you behave to us as if we were
gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! No, really, that\u2019s not at
all neighbourly! In my opinion, it\u2019s even impudent, if you want to
know\u2026.

LOMOV: Then you make out that I\u2019m a land-grabber? Madam, never in
my life have I grabbed anybody else\u2019s land, and I shan\u2019t allow
anybody to accuse me of having done so. \u2026
(Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks more water)<\/em> Oxen Meadows are mine!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It\u2019s not true, they\u2019re ours!

LOMOV: Mine!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It\u2019s not true! I\u2019ll prove it! I\u2019ll send my
mowers out to the Meadows this very day!

LOMOV: What?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: My mowers will be there this very day!

LOMOV: I\u2019ll give it to them in the neck!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: You dare!

LOMOV: (Clutches at his heart)<\/em> Oxen Meadows are mine! You
understand? Mine!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Please don\u2019t shout! You can shout yourself
hoarse in your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain
yourself!

LOMOV: If it wasn\u2019t, madam, for this awful, excruciating
palpitation, if my whole inside wasn\u2019t upset, I\u2019d talk to you in a
different way! (Yells)<\/em> Oxen Meadows are mine!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Ours!

LOMOV:\u00a0Mine!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA:\u00a0Ours!

LOMOV: Mine!
(Enter CHUBUKOV.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: What\u2019s the matter? What are you shouting at?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns
Oxen Meadows, we or he?

CHUBUKOV: (To LOMOV)<\/em> Darling, the Meadows are ours!

LOMOV: But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be
a reasonable man! My aunt\u2019s grandmother gave the Meadows for the
temporary and free use of your grandfather\u2019s peasants. The peasants
used the land for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it
was their own, when it happened that \u2026

CHUBUKOV:\u00a0Excuse me, my precious. \u2026 You forget just this, that
the peasants didn\u2019t pay your grandmother and all that, because the
Meadows were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that
they\u2019re ours. It means that you haven\u2019t seen the plan.

LOMOV:\u00a0I\u2019ll prove to you that they\u2019re mine!

CHUBUKOV: You won\u2019t prove it, my darling.

LOMOV:\u00a0I shall!

CHUBUKOV: Dear one, why yell like that? You won\u2019t prove anything
just by yelling. I don\u2019t want anything of yours, and don\u2019t intend
to give up what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved,
that if you propose to go on arguing about it, I\u2019d much sooner give
up the meadows to the peasants than to you. There!

LOMOV: I don\u2019t understand! How have you the right to give away
somebody else\u2019s property?

CHUBUKOV:\u00a0You may take it that I know whether I have the right or
not. Because, young man, I\u2019m not used to being spoken to in that
tone of voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask
you to speak to me without agitating yourself, and all that.

LOMOV:\u00a0No, you just think I\u2019m a fool and want to have me on! You
call my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and
politely! Good neighbours don\u2019t behave like that, Stepan
Stepanitch! You\u2019re not a neighbour, you\u2019re a grabber!

CHUBUKOV: What\u2019s that? What did you say?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at
once!

CHUBUKOV: What did you say, sir?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan\u2019t give them
up, shan\u2019t give them up, shan\u2019t give them up!

LOMOV: We\u2019ll see! I\u2019ll have the matter taken to court, and then
I\u2019ll show you!

CHUBUKOV: To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You
can! I know you; you\u2019re just on the look-out for a chance to go to
court, and all that. \u2026 You pettifogger! All your people were like
that! All of them!

LOMOV: Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable
people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like
your grandfather!

CHUBUKOV: You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: All, all, all!

CHUBUKOV: Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt,
Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on.

LOMOV: And your mother was hump-backed. (Clutches at his heart)<\/em>
Something pulling in my side. \u2026 My head. \u2026 Help! Water!

CHUBUKOV: Your father was a guzzling gambler!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: And there haven\u2019t been many backbiters to equal
your aunt!

LOMOV: My left foot has gone to sleep. \u2026 You\u2019re an intriguer. \u2026
Oh, my heart! \u2026 And it\u2019s an open secret that before the last
elections you bri \u2026 I can see stars. \u2026 Where\u2019s my hat?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It\u2019s low! It\u2019s dishonest! It\u2019s mean!

CHUBUKOV: And you\u2019re just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes!

LOMOV: Here\u2019s my hat. \u2026 My heart! \u2026 Which way? Where\u2019s the
door? Oh! \u2026 I think I\u2019m dying. \u2026 My foot\u2019s quite numb. \u2026
(Goes to the door.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: (Following him)<\/em> And don\u2019t set foot in my house again!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Take it to court! We\u2019ll see!
(LOMOV staggers out.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: Devil take him! (Walks about in excitement.)<\/em>

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What a rascal! What trust can one have in one\u2019s
neighbours after that!

CHUBUKOV: The villain! The scarecrow!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: The monster! First he takes our land and then
he has the impudence to abuse us.

CHUBUKOV: And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the
confounded cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What proposal?

CHUBUKOV: Why, he came here so as to propose to you.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: To propose? To me? Why didn\u2019t you tell me so
before?

CHUBUKOV: So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage!
The wizen-faced frump!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: To propose to me? Ah!
(Falls into an easy-chair and wails)<\/em> Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here.

CHUBUKOV: Bring whom here?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Quick, quick! I\u2019m ill! Fetch him! (Hysterics.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: What\u2019s that? What\u2019s the matter with you?
(Clutches at his head) <\/em>Oh, unhappy man that I am! I\u2019ll shoot myself! I\u2019ll hang
myself! We\u2019ve done for her!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I\u2019m dying! Fetch him!

CHUBUKOV: Tfoo! At once. Don\u2019t yell!
(Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.)<\/em>
NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back!
Fetch him! (A pause.)<\/em>
(CHUBUKOV runs in.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: He\u2019s coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him
yourself; I don\u2019t want to. \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: (Wails)<\/em> Fetch him!

CHUBUKOV: (Yells) <\/em>He\u2019s coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord,
to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I\u2019ll cut my throat! I
will, indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it\u2019s
all you \u2026 you!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: No, it was you!

CHUBUKOV: I tell you it\u2019s not my fault. (LOMOV appears at the door)<\/em>
Now you talk to him yourself (Exit.)<\/em>
(LOMOV enters, exhausted.)<\/em>

LOMOV: My heart\u2019s palpitating awfully. \u2026 My foot\u2019s gone to sleep. \u2026
There\u2019s something keeps pulling in my side.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a
little heated. \u2026 I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours.

LOMOV: My heart\u2019s beating awfully. \u2026 My Meadows. \u2026 My eyebrows
are both twitching. \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: The Meadows are yours, yes, yours. \u2026 Do sit
down. \u2026 (They sit)<\/em> We were wrong. \u2026

LOMOV: I did it on principle. \u2026 My land is worth little to me,
but the principle \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Yes, the principle, just so. \u2026 Now let\u2019s talk
of something else.

LOMOV: The more so as I have evidence. My aunt\u2019s grandmother gave
the land to your father\u2019s grandfather\u2019s peasants \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Yes, yes, let that pass. \u2026 (Aside)<\/em> I wish I
knew how to get him started. \u2026 (Aloud)<\/em> Are you going to start
shooting soon?

LOMOV: I\u2019m thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured
Natalya Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just
think, what a misfortune I\u2019ve had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has
gone lame.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What a pity! Why?

LOMOV: I don\u2019t know. \u2026 Must have got twisted, or bitten by some
other dog. \u2026 (Sighs)<\/em> My very best dog, to say nothing of the
expense. I gave Mironov 125 roubles for him.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch.

LOMOV: I think it was very cheap. He\u2019s a first-rate dog.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and
Squeezer is heaps better than Guess!

LOMOV: Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! (Laughs)<\/em> Squeezer
better than Guess!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Of course he\u2019s better! Of course, Squeezer is
young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he\u2019s better
than anything that even Volchanetsky has got.
LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is
overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it!

LOMOV: I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Have you measured?

LOMOV: Yes. He\u2019s all right at following, of course, but if you want
him to get hold of anything \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: In the first place, our Squeezer is a
thoroughbred animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there\u2019s
no getting at the pedigree of your dog at all. \u2026 He\u2019s old and as
ugly as a worn-out cab-horse.

LOMOV: He is old, but I wouldn\u2019t take five Squeezers for him. \u2026
Why, how can you? \u2026 Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it\u2019s
too funny to argue. \u2026 Anybody you like has a dog as good as
Squeezer \u2026 you may find them under every bush almost. Twenty-five
roubles would be a handsome price to pay for him.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: There\u2019s some demon of contradiction in you
today, Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are
yours; now, that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don\u2019t like people
who don\u2019t say what they mean, because you know perfectly well that
Squeezer is a hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do
you want to say it isn\u2019t?

LOMOV: I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind
or a fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It\u2019s not true.

LOMOV: He is!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: It\u2019s not true!

LOMOV: Why shout, madam?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Why talk rot? It\u2019s awful! It\u2019s time your Guess
was shot, and you compare him with Squeezer!

LOMOV: Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is
palpitating.

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I\u2019ve noticed that those hunters argue most who
know least.

LOMOV: Madam, please be silent. \u2026 My heart is going to pieces. \u2026
(Shouts)<\/em> Shut up!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I shan\u2019t shut up until you acknowledge that
Squeezer is a hundred times better than your Guess!

LOMOV: A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His
head \u2026 eyes \u2026 shoulder \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: There\u2019s no need to hang your silly Guess; he\u2019s
half-dead already!

LOMOV: (Weeps)<\/em> Shut up! My heart\u2019s bursting!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I shan\u2019t shut up.
(Enter CHUBUKOV.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: What\u2019s the matter now?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog,
our Squeezer or his Guess.

LOMOV: Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one
thing: is your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no?

CHUBUKOV: And suppose he is? What does it matter? He\u2019s the best dog
in the district for all that, and so on.

LOMOV: But isn\u2019t my Guess better? Really, now?

CHUBUKOV: Don\u2019t excite yourself, my precious one. \u2026 Allow me. \u2026
Your Guess certainly has his good points. \u2026 He\u2019s pure-bred, firm
on his feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man,
if you want to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he\u2019s old
and he\u2019s short in the muzzle.

LOMOV: Excuse me, my heart. \u2026 Let\u2019s take the facts. \u2026 You will
remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck
with the Count\u2019s dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst
behind.

CHUBUKOV: He got left behind because the Count\u2019s whipper-in hit him
with his whip.

LOMOV: And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when
Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep!

CHUBUKOV: It\u2019s not true! \u2026 My dear fellow, I\u2019m very liable to
lose my temper, and so, just because of that, let\u2019s stop arguing.
You started because everybody is always jealous of everybody else\u2019s
dogs. Yes, we\u2019re all like that! You too, sir, aren\u2019t blameless! You
no sooner notice that some dog is better than your Guess than you
begin with this, that \u2026 and the other \u2026 and all that. \u2026 I
remember everything!

LOMOV: I remember too!

CHUBUKOV: (Teasing him)<\/em> I remember, too. \u2026 What do you remember?

LOMOV: My heart \u2026 my foot\u2019s gone to sleep. \u2026 I can\u2019t \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: (Teasing)<\/em> My heart. \u2026 What sort of a hunter
are you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch
blackbeetles, not go after foxes! My heart!

CHUBUKOV: Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You
ought to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking
animals. You could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people
and interfere with their dogs and so on. Let\u2019s change the subject
in case I lose my temper. You\u2019re not a hunter at all, anyway!

LOMOV: And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the
Count and to intrigue. \u2026 Oh, my heart! \u2026 You\u2019re an intriguer!

CHUBUKOV: What? I an intriguer? (Shouts)<\/em> Shut up!

LOMOV: Intriguer!

CHUBUKOV: Boy! Pup!

LOMOV: Old rat! Jesuit!

CHUBUKOV: Shut up or I\u2019ll shoot you like a partridge! You fool!

LOMOV: Everybody knows that\u2013oh my heart!\u2013your late wife used to
beat you. \u2026 My feet \u2026 temples \u2026 sparks. \u2026 I fall, I fall!

CHUBUKOV: And you\u2019re under the slipper of your housekeeper!

LOMOV: There, there, there \u2026 my heart\u2019s burst! My shoulder\u2019s come
off. \u2026 Where is my shoulder? I die. (Falls into an armchair)<\/em> A
doctor! (Faints.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: Boy! Milksop! Fool! I\u2019m sick! (Drinks water)<\/em> Sick!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: What sort of a hunter are you? You can\u2019t even sit
on a horse! (To her father)<\/em> Papa, what\u2019s the matter with him? Papa!
Look, papa! (Screams)<\/em> Ivan Vassilevitch! He\u2019s dead!

CHUBUKOV: I\u2019m sick! \u2026 I can\u2019t breathe! \u2026 Air!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: He\u2019s dead. (Pulls LOMOV\u2019S sleeve)<\/em> Ivan Vassilevitch!
Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He\u2019s dead.
(Falls into an armchair)<\/em> A doctor, a doctor! (Hysterics.)<\/em>

CHUBUKOV: Oh! \u2026 What is it? What\u2019s the matter?

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: (Wails)<\/em> He\u2019s dead \u2026 dead!

CHUBUKOV: Who\u2019s dead? (Looks at LOMOV)<\/em> So he is! My word! Water! A
doctor! (Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV\u2019S mouth)<\/em> Drink this! \u2026 No, he
doesn\u2019t drink. \u2026 It means he\u2019s dead, and all that. \u2026 I\u2019m the most
unhappy of men! Why don\u2019t I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven\u2019t I
cut my throat yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a
pistol! (LOMOV moves)<\/em> He seems to be coming round. \u2026 Drink some water!
That\u2019s right. \u2026

LOMOV: I see stars \u2026 mist. \u2026 Where am I?

CHUBUKOV: Hurry up and get married and\u2013well, to the devil with you!
She\u2019s willing! (He puts LOMOV\u2019S hand into his daughter\u2019s) <\/em>She\u2019s willing
and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace!

LOMOV: (Getting up) <\/em>Eh? What? To whom?

CHUBUKOV: She\u2019s willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: (Wails)<\/em> He\u2019s alive. . . Yes, yes, I\u2019m willing. \u2026

CHUBUKOV: Kiss each other!

LOMOV: Eh? Kiss whom? (They kiss)<\/em> Very nice, too. Excuse me, what\u2019s
it all about? Oh, now I understand \u2026 my heart \u2026 stars \u2026 I\u2019m happy.
Natalya Stepanovna. \u2026 (Kisses her hand)<\/em> My foot\u2019s gone to sleep. \u2026

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: I \u2026 I\u2019m happy too. \u2026

CHUBUKOV: What a weight off my shoulders. \u2026 Ouf!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: But \u2026 still you will admit now that Guess is
worse than Squeezer.

LOMOV: Better!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Worse!

CHUBUKOV: Well, that\u2019s a way to start your family bliss! Have some
champagne!

LOMOV: He\u2019s better!

NATALYA STEPANOVNA: Worse! worse! worse!

CHUBUKOV: (Trying to shout her down)<\/em> Champagne! Champagne!

CURTAIN<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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